Where to begin? That is really the important question. It all began when we turned 24. The desire to start a family really started, then 25 hit and the baby fever was going full blast. We moved across the country to the Pacific Northwest to be apart of a culture that was simply more open and where our children would not be the only kid in class with a two-mom family. It is extremely important to us to have a sense of “normal” which was not very possible with where we lived before.
Flash forward through the move and through exploring our new surroundings, the desire and need to start our family was the foremost important thing to accomplish.
Jen is an avid researcher and takes googling to the extreme. It is a curse and a blessing all at the same time. It definitely has helped prepared us for the long journey that we were about to face. We have also wanted to make this “process” the least clinical and more us and that is how we started. We started with at home ovulation predictor tests, along with visiting with a local midwife that works and concentrates with LGBT fertility and family building. It was such a great help to have the support of a third party to help interpret and provide guidance on cycle tracking. In June 2015, we started really tracking and really looking to start our family building. The process seemed simply, we bought the sperm, bought the items needed for at home IUI’s and we were off…. If only it was that easy. Doing an at home IUI was probably one of the most stressful things that either of us experienced. The stress of making sure everything was sterile, that it went in all the way and the gross factor of the semen (yuck, there is one real thing that definitely makes me a lesbian.) After struggling with not being able to pin down the “perfect” window, and blowing through four vials of sperm… yikes… we moved on to a fertility clinic in the area to really help control the “perfect” time.
We were lucky enough to start right away with monitored IUI’s at the clinic. The very first cycle we got everything that we hoped for. A positive pregnancy test! We went in for the beta testing. By the second one Jen was losing hope because it was not doubling, Tiffany kept hanging onto hope, but by the third one we knew it didn’t completely take and ended in a biochemical pregnancy. The high that we felt was quickly dashed with what ifs, and what did we do wrong. The most frustrating and heartbreaking thing about it is, that there is no rhyme or reason as to why. No one knows why and they always tell you that it is nothing that you did, but it is so hard to move past that thinking of failure.
We quickly decided that we are not going to let that dictate our next steps and moved forward with an IUI at home at. Every time we did an IUI we thought this is it, this is the time that it will work. We moved forward with two additional IUI’s at the clinic and then one cancelled IUI cycle before deciding that this was not normal and decided to move to the next step and hopefully the last. IVF.